Comedian and actress Michelle Buteau has built a massive career on being loud, unapologetic, and fiercely funny. Yet behind her fast-rising Hollywood profile and hit Netflix projects, her marriage to Dutch photographer Gijs van der Most operates as a grounded anchor. Married since 2010, the couple has navigated cross-cultural dating, fertility struggles, and the chaos of raising twins while maintaining individual creative pursuits.
Understanding their dynamic reveals why this partnership works so well out of the limelight. Their story isn't about traditional Hollywood romance tropes; it's built on mutual respect, sharp humor, and an uncanny ability to balance each other out.
How Michelle Buteau and Gijs van der Most Met
Most celebrity relationship origin stories sound like polished fairy tales, but Buteau's start with van der Most was remarkably casual. They originally crossed paths when what was meant to be a low-stakes encounter turned into something much more permanent. Buteau has frequently joked about how her husband was initially supposed to be a fleeting presence in her life.
Instead, a strong mutual connection took hold. Van der Most, a native of the Netherlands who studied photographic design at HKU (Hogeschool voor de Kunsten Utrecht), brought a calm, steady demeanor that contrasted sharply with Buteau's high-energy comedic world. They maintained a long-distance relationship before officially tying the knot on July 31, 2010. BBC has provided coverage on this fascinating topic in extensive detail.
Balancing Two Creative Careers
Sustaining a long-term marriage in the entertainment industry requires active boundaries, and Buteau and van der Most manage this by respecting each other's distinct professional lanes.
- Photography and Design: Van der Most built a successful career behind the lens, shooting for major outlets like Esquire, Men's Health, and People.
- Comedy and Acting: Buteau's schedule involves grueling stand-up tours, writing rooms, hosting gigs like The Circle, and starring in her semi-autobiographical series Survival of the Thickest.
- Collaborative Ventures: Beyond their individual work, the couple opened a mid-century modern furniture store in Brooklyn called van der Most Modern, combining their shared eye for design into a brick-and-mortar business.
Van der Most regularly joins Buteau on red carpets, supporting milestones like the Writers Guild Awards and television premieres. Rather than competing for attention, they operate as a cohesive unit where one partner's demanding production schedule is balanced by the other's flexibility.
Overcoming Infertility and Growing Their Family
One of the most defining chapters of their marriage involved a grueling, multi-year journey to build a family. Buteau has been transparent about the emotional toll of dealing with severe fertility hurdles, including four miscarriages and painful rounds of IVF.
Facing both physical complications and institutional roadblocks, the couple persevered through what Buteau described in essays and interviews as an exhausting emotional marathon. They ultimately chose surrogacy, welcoming twins Hazel and Otis in January 2019.
Becoming parents in their forties shifted their dynamic, forcing them to adapt quickly to the sleep-deprived realities of raising toddlers in the Bronx. Buteau has noted that parenthood didn't dampen her career ambitions; instead, it sharpened her focus, making her more selective about projects while relying heavily on van der Most as an equal co-parent.
Humor as a Relationship Glue
Publicly, the couple frequently pokes fun at each other on social media. Buteau's stand-up routines and social feeds regularly feature deadpan observations about her "Dutch husband" trying to navigate chaotic New York City streets or attempting domestic tasks like baking fresh bread for the household.
This lighthearted banter highlights a core strength of their marriage: the ability to laugh at cultural differences and everyday domestic friction. By not taking themselves too seriously, they insulate their private life from the pressures of public scrutiny.
Read more about entertainment profiles and celebrity culture on Variety and The Hollywood Reporter.
Frequently Asked Questions
When did Michelle Buteau and Gijs van der Most get married?
They got married on July 31, 2010, after dating and maintaining a long-distance relationship for two years.
What is Gijs van der Most's profession?
Van der Most is a professional photographer whose work has appeared in major publications like People, Esquire, and Men's Health. He also owns a mid-century modern furniture store in Brooklyn.
Do Michelle Buteau and her husband have children?
Yes, they share twins—a boy and a girl named Otis and Hazel—who were born via surrogate in January 2019.
Where do Michelle Buteau and her family live?
They live in the Bronx, New York, balancing their careers in media and design with family life.
