When Joy Behar and Steve Janowitz finally tied the knot in August 2011, they had already built a life together that spanned nearly three decades. For twenty-nine years, The View co-host and the retired schoolteacher lived as "spousal equivalents," routinely dodging questions about why they didn't walk down the aisle. When the ceremony finally happened in a private New York City registry, it wasn't driven by sudden romantic impulse or media pressure. Instead, Behar's decision came down to practical foresight, legal protection, and a hard-learned perspective on commitment.
Long before they exchanged vows at age 68, their relationship defied conventional Hollywood scripts. From their unusual first meeting at a Woodstock singles resort to Behar's famous cold feet in 2009, their long courtship offers a fascinating look at modern partnership on their own terms.
The Unconventional Meet-Cute and Early Years
The story of how Behar and Janowitz met is a frequent punchline on daytime television. In 1982, shortly after her divorce from her first husband, Joe Behar, she visited a semi-nudist resort in upstate New York. As Behar frequently recounts on air, Janowitz was on the opposite side of the grounds—without clothes—while she remained fully dressed.
They crossed paths again later that day at a local movie theater where Janowitz was fully clothed, and they struck up a conversation. At the time, Behar was working as a receptionist for Good Morning America while cutting her teeth as a stand-up comedian, and Janowitz was teaching middle school in New York City.
Despite an instant connection, neither felt any rush to formalize the relationship with a marriage license. Having experienced a painful divorce in 1981 that left their young daughter, Eve, in shock, Behar felt zero desire to rush back into legal matrimony. They settled into a comfortable, independent rhythm, living together and blending their lives without the traditional constraints of wedlock.
Why Did They Wait 29 Years?
For nearly three decades, friends, fans, and her co-hosts frequently asked why the couple refused to marry. Behar was remarkably open about her hesitation. Having gone through a bitter divorce earlier in life, she valued her autonomy and saw no functional difference between a long-term committed partnership and a signed marriage certificate.
She also harbored a running joke about cold feet. In 2009, the couple announced plans to marry, only for Behar to call it off just three months later, telling reporters she simply couldn't make up her mind. Janowitz remained remarkably easygoing throughout the delay, famously telling her to do whatever she wanted.
Yet, as the years ticked by, real-world practicalities began to shift Behar's perspective on the legal institution of marriage.
The Turning Point: Legal Rights and Practical Realities
The ultimate catalyst for their 2011 wedding wasn't a romantic epiphany, but a sobering legal realization. Behar has frequently cited her observation of a close LGBTQIA+ friend whose partner fell seriously ill. Because they weren't legally married, the partner faced harrowing hurdles trying to visit her in the hospital or make critical medical decisions.
That vulnerability opened Behar's eyes to the harsh legal limitations unmarried couples face during medical emergencies. She realized that hospital visitation rights, inheritance laws, and medical power of attorney are automatically granted to legal spouses—protections that long-term domestic partners have to fight for in court.
Around the same time, the broader cultural conversation surrounding marriage equality highlighted the profound legal weight of a marriage license. When Behar and Janowitz finally married in an intimate ceremony in August 2011, she admitted to her co-hosts that practicality played a massive role. Love was already there; the paperwork was about securing each other's future. Even ABC News covered the surprise ceremony, noting that close friend Whoopi Goldberg made an exception to her rule against attending weddings because she respected the grounded reasoning behind it.
The Dynamic Behind Their Longevity
Decades into their relationship, Behar often shares lighthearted insights into why their partnership works so well. For one, she enjoys a seven-year age gap, with Janowitz being younger. She has frequently joked on television that having a younger partner is a strategic long-term plan for senior care.
Rather than chasing the breathless infatuation of early romance, their bond thrives on shared humor, intellectual alignment, and deep mutual respect. They maintain separate spaces when needed, respect each other's independence, and avoid the performative expectations that sink many high-profile relationships.
Frequently Asked Questions
When did Joy Behar and Steve Janowitz get married?
They married on August 11, 2011, in a private ceremony in New York City after dating for 29 years.
Who was Joy Behar's first husband?
Behar was previously married to college professor Joseph "Joe" Behar from 1965 until their divorce in 1981. They share one daughter, Eve.
What inspired Joy Behar to finally get married after 29 years?
While love was a constant, the primary push was practical. Witnessing friends struggle with hospital visitation rights and medical decisions without legal marriage status convinced Behar to secure those protections for herself and Janowitz.
What is Steve Janowitz's profession?
Janowitz is a retired New York City middle school teacher who has largely stayed out of the television spotlight while supporting Behar's career.
